PO'd

I am going to go try and sleep again for the eleventy-billionth time... but it's time for another time check  folks... I am constantly in a stage of not being awake and not really ever being asleep. There's no way I have the neuro-transmitter that produces melatonin, there's just no freakin' way. It's hard to be productive if you're not coherent enough to change a light bulb. I've always tried to sort of meditate before bed... to let my mind wander to whatever it wants... it ends up day-dreaming up a kaleidoscope of images and some of them are not so pleasant. I try to tell myself that there's no thought police. My mind ends up meandering to the same little things... my little secrets. I get so excited. I try to count down from 10. A friend taught me a trick to help me sleep by counting each number down from 10 really concentrating on each number and if you get side tracked to start at 10 again... well, I hardly make it to 10. I seem to have to be at the point of utter physical exhaustion to sleep because just being mentally exhausted just doesn't cut it. I try reading but everything's a blur... I just sort of feel like I'm treading time...

Oh, and I've lost my clicker... so I just leave the Comedy Network on... when I've seen the same episode of This Hour has 22 Minutes 3 times I know I haven't slept in a long time...